Few negotiations have the depth, breadth, and impact of those that occur in the theater of American politics. Politicians generally, and U.S. presidents specifically, have given us plenty of diplomacy-related examples (good and bad) over the years. While many of the political negotiations take place behind closed doors and we are not, to borrow a phrase from Hamilton: An American Musical, “in the room where it happens,” sometimes the sage negotiation insights from the political realm are on full display for the entire world to see. Take John Fitzgerald Kennedy’s inaugural address as president of the United States in 1961 for example. In that speech President Kennedy provided a number of timeless insights on negotiation. Perhaps the most notable is this passage:

“So let us begin anew--remembering on both sides that civility is not a sign of weakness, and sincerity is always subject to proof. Let us never negotiate out of fear. But let us never fear to negotiate.”

Little did President Kennedy know that a handful of months later his commitment to the “let us never fear to negotiate” mindset would face the ultimate test during the Cuban Missile Crisis. Because Kennedy and Soviet Premier Nikita Khrushchev did not fear to negotiate, the world was pulled back from the brink of global nuclear war. Aside from the standalone power of President Kennedy’s speech, that passage provides a list of five very compelling negotiation concepts. Civility. Weakness. Sincerity. Proof. Fear. In this article we will briefly explore each of those in the context of negotiations.

Civility. In today’s culture of cancellation, contempt, and seemingly obligatory outrage, reasonable disagreement and differences of opinion cease to exist and are distorted into insult and offense. Compromise has somehow transformed into a dirty word. But we can, and must, find a way to disagree without being disagreeable. As lawyers, one might argue, that is our job. We are hired to vigorously represent our client’s interests in a professional manner. Aside from practicing our profession at a higher level of discourse and intellect, being civil in our negotiations greatly increases their chances of success. Snarky comments, insults, or sardonic one-liners seemingly designed to collect “likes” on social media do nothing to help bring opposing sides closer together. They are divisive. As President Kennedy noted, civility is not a sign of weakness. It is quite the opposite. If you can maintain your civility even during the most difficult negotiations it is a sign of tremendous strength. It is also a zero-cost move in a negotiation that enhances how people feel, which in turn enhances the prospect of an agreement.

Weakness. Any negotiation is likely to involve parties that harbor some concerns, hold negative views, or believe that the other side’s position has weaknesses. Those concerns, negative views, or weaknesses may be legitimate, potential, or merely perceived. Regardless, perception is reality. So, stop pretending that reality doesn’t exist. Put it on the table. Address the perceived negatives issues head-on, so you can move on. You can acknowledge them without conceding they are accurate. Discussing negative perceptions allows parties to feel heard and understood – even if the parties don’t agree with the other side’s perspective. Identifying “weaknesses” can move parties into a collaborative problem-solving mindset that many negotiation theorists believe is a path to successful and sustainable resolutions.

Sincerity. Lawyers have only one true portable asset, their reputation. Nothing defines a reputation like integrity and character. Do not squander any of that just to “win” any particular negotiation. It will backfire. Moreover, negotiations will be more successful when negotiators are genuine, candid, and authentic (all synonyms for sincere, by the way) because people feel safe negotiating with people with those traits. Nelson Mandela, who is described in Robert Mnookin’s book Bargaining with the Devil as “the greatest negotiator of the twentieth century,” was “respectful but never fawning or sycophantic,” and “a negotiator with whom one could make concessions and yet maintain one’s self-respect.” When negotiators trust each other, even if they don’t like each other personally, more deals get done.

Proof. Trust, but verify. And expect your negotiation counterpart to do the same. At some point you may be challenged, or may need to challenge, some assertion or view expressed in the negotiations. You have to be able to back up your position when the time is right.

Fear. Don’t be afraid to challenge your assumptions – you might be entirely wrong about the other side’s motivation. If you have some fear, you need to analyze what is causing it. You may not be in the right negotiation, with the right party, at the right time. Don’t be afraid to talk about the proverbial elephants in the room, as they never go away by simply being ignored. Finally, don’t be afraid to let the other side talk (and actually listen to what they are saying). Afterall, you are negotiating to an agreed result, not litigating to a verdict.

In President Kennedy’s inaugural address we also see a few of examples of other effective negotiation techniques. Such as this statement: “[f]inally, to those nations who would make themselves our adversary, we offer not a pledge but a request . . . .” In a negotiation, making a request or seeking permission to provide information, give a different point of view, or to even make an offer empowers the other side to invite you to do so. They tell you if they are ready to receive the information, and accordingly won’t feel as though you are forcing it on them. After all, they literally asked for it. Making such a request is not a sign of weakness, it is a psychological checkpoint to see if they are ready to accept whatever information you are about to deliver. If they aren’t, then you are wasting your time, because whatever you say will not have the desired effect.

Kennedy’s speech also gives us (using the powerful rhetorical device of repetition) examples of a negotiation strategy focusing on collaborative problem-solving: “Let both sides explore what problems unite us instead of belaboring those problems which divide us.” “Let both sides, for the first time, formulate serious and precise proposals . . . .” “Let both sides seek to invoke the wonders of science instead of its terrors . . . .” “Let both sides unite to heed in all corners of the earth . . . .” “And if a beachhead of cooperation may push back the jungle of suspicion, let both sides join in creating a new endeavor . . . .”

President Kennedy’s inaugural address provides a number of examples of negotiation concepts that can help broker successful deals. Lawyers would do well to seek out and learn negotiation lessons and examples from across disciplines. Every negotiation is a unique event. Accordingly, it is extremely difficult to prescribe hard and fast rules, or “always” and “never” guidelines. The concepts discussed in President Kennedy’s inaugural address, however, are a few timeless lessons that negotiators should keep in mind as they prepare for, and conduct, negotiations.

Partner at Riley Safer Holmes & Cancila LLP in Chicago.